Well, That Was Different...

March 14, 2017

 

Today was the HSG testing.  I like to be prepared, so I watched the video from the Mayo Clinic that has an animated version of the test.  Everyone is very adamant that you have a driver for this test, so that actually had me more nervous than anything.  I mean, WHAT kind of pain am I going to be in that I need a driver like Miss Daisy!? 

 

My roomate took me, under instructions he couldn't leave, and to bring a book.  He complied and is, perhaps, the most awesome person.  The people watching alone is pretty epic, so I knew he'd be fine. 

 

I checked in and when I was taken back, a young woman named Ellie showed me where to change and put my belongings.  I waited for her to come get me and when we went into the room with the xray there were Nemo and Friends decals everywhere. 

 

"I assume you have a lot of kids here?" I asked.

 

"Yeah- otherwise....that'd be weird,huh?!" She replied.  Then she went to move the cart with the iodine, barium, and speculum (a woman's most favorite thing- ugh.)  The cart caught something and the barium went down!  We both giggled because of the color of the barium which is a dark red/brown; it looked like a crime scene all over the floor!  A quick clean up and replacement and we were ready to go. 

 

We both laughed and I began the easy ice breaker chatter (that I am quite good at thank God) before my hoo ha was spread eagle on the table.

 

The doc came in and he was great.  He explained what was happening as he did the procedure.  

"Now, I am going to clean your cervix", he said.

"Well, that's something I don't hear everyday", I said.  We all laughed and then the uncomfortable part began.

 

If you have to have this done, know this- everyone's experience is different.  If you are allergic to Iodine, you will let them know.  They will ask you several times before. I am not, so it went ahead as planned.  Once the catheter is inserted (which is slightly uncomfortable) he administers the contrast dye (iodine).  THIS feels weird and is super uncomfortable.  Imagine your period cramps and how they can come in waves.  The peak of the wave is the worst. Well, this part is like the peak of the wave with no let down till the catheter is removed.  It wasn't the worst pain I've felt, but Lordy, it was not pleasant.  

 

The cool part was seeing the screen and seeing my uterus and tubes onscreen.  Well, I should say "TUBE", because only one appeared with the dye.  Which is not great and was not expected.  

 

"Ummmm....where is the left tube and ovary? " I asked in curiosity. 

"Well, it should be right here." He points to a blank spot on the screen.  "The right side looks beautiful (*another first for me, this compliment lol), but it seems there is a blockage here where the left begins." He explains. 

 

What. the. actual. hell?  This was supposed to be a normal, routine thing where both of my tubes and ovaries show up like in the video, and we move on.  Guess the joke is on me, right? 

 

I got up after he removed everything and went to the restroom before coming back to take another photo from the x ray machine.  I got a little emotional in the restroom because all of this is so weird and unexpected and I have no idea how to navigate the scenario where it may not be an option to have kids easily or at all.  I do think its possible, but just like when I try to put IKEA furniture together, it's not going to be easy.  

 

I pulled myself together, took my last photo, and said my goodbyes to Ellie.  She was so nice. I gathered my roommate up and off we went about our day. 

 

The cramps were totally gone right after the procedure.  What I did feel later was just a general sense of bloating and meh-ness.  No pain, just tired and kinda uncomfortable.  Tomorrow, bright and early, I have a sonogram.  Hopefully they can tell a bit more about that stubborn left tube. We'll see.  

 

So, all in all, the test was easy and relatively painless.  No need to worry.  Be honest with your doc about any allergies you may have and stay positive!  Gotta stay positive.  That is the motto for this week's weird ass journey. lol 

 

Later gators!

 

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