Whom Shall I choose....?
Looking at donors is weird. However, it is what dating profiles SHOULD be. Let's start at the very beginning, as Maria said in "Sound of Music".....
In my first consultation, at the end, Doc asked me if I had started looking at donors. I laughed and said "nooooo..... do people just randomly do that?" She suggested I start. I figured it would be like looking at Match.com in that it wouldn't take long to sift through the rabble. Wellllll......I was way off base! These profiles are EPIC!
First, you enter in all kinds of magical criteria: eye color, heritage, ethnicity, religion, hair color, BLOOD TYPE!, and more! Then, all these different profiles come up. With children photos. And names. And celebrity comparisons. So then, I realize "Ohhhhhh I get to see what the grown men's sperm I am choosing looked like as small children...." That's weird. Its weird. Its also very judge-y. Looking at little kids and saying "his eyes are realllly close together, what is happening with his hair, that is entirely too many freckles, or he looks like a mini serial killer, or he's soooo cute!" is a regular occurance in this process. Depending on the site, they have different features. The California Cryobank tells you what the adult version of the donor's (the one they meet) celebrity look alike is. The Seattle Sperm Bank has audio interviews and personality (Kiersey Test) tests included as well.
The audio interviews are cool. They have a guy asking questions who sounds like a game show host trying to make the men more comfortable, and then the guys, who are mostly not super outgoing types (opposite of myself) and sound really nervous. A lot of them are still in some form of school, either undergrad, grad, or even post grad. The ones I am looking at are somewhat opposite of me so that naturally puts them in the sciences and/or computer land, which in a very general sense always means they are not super into being the center of attention and being chatty. So listening to these interviews is fun- which ones sound like D&D guys, which ones really mean it when they say they like the symphony? This one is a vegetarian with a History Degree and is a software engineer!? hmmmmm now THAT is interesting.
The other interesting thing that comes from the banks being in Seattle and California is that everyone loves the outdoors, loves bicycling,is tall and fit, handsome with great bone structure and cheery eyes. HAHA....I feel like if the bank was in Houston (where I'm from) they would say "loves to travel in his air conditioned car between awesome places, likes BBQ and Sushi- not together- knows how to open doors and there is no bicycling." lol I noticed too that none of the guys have staff descriptions that say "well, he has a lazy eye, or his posture isn't great, or there's a slight lisp"- all of which are fine, but appear NOWHERE in like 100 profiles. I like to think that all of the specimens are ideal but I also live in reality.
Also, the names. I wondered while reading through the Huxleys, Gus, Aristotle, Manning, etc.- are these their real names? So I called. Turns out, they are NOT their real names, and they are chosen at random kind of like hurricanes. However, they do make sure they are ethnically appropriate! What a crazy world- and I would want that job at the bank.
I think I have found the donor I like. He seems to be well rounded, did unbelievably well on the GRE and tutors people for it ( I KNOW how hard the GRE was so I find this extremely impressive.) He's a cute lil kid, has a lot of great qualities, and I think he will be a great donor.
Looking for a Spermbank? There's a handy (no pun intended) directory in the Resources section :)