OMG It's all so SQUISHY!!!!
Originally written October 8, 2017
Okay. So here's the body episode. Because, Lordy, things are a changing and feeling all kinds of squishy and tender and water buffalo-like. Before I start, let me say, that I am ok with it. I know that it is all for a purpose and the meds are creating an environment for my future baby to live. That being said, it is still weird. And uncomfortable. And painful.
I know that all of these meds are preparing my body for being pregnant. It is becoming prepared to be the future home for my baby. I am staying positive that it is all going to work!
I've been on estrogen for over 2 weeks now, and last week I had to add the estrogen patches (Minivelle), 2 patches that stay on for 3 days at a time, and that's when I really started to notice an impact. I had a couple of weepy reactions to things I normally wouldn't even think about, and feel more emotional overall- nothing in "crazy land", but definitely noticeable to myself. I already have, lets say, plentiful, boobs and I am SO aware of them now! The patches make them really tender and that is not awesome. I am currently living in various forms of sports bras, as I refuse to buy regular bras that fit until I am actually pregnant. There are several things like this happening and I feel like I'm in a weird limbo of not wanting to put the cart before the horse just in case and then I will be even more sad. So I am just kinda wearing stretchy clothes that touch me the least amount possible and then when I become pregnant, I can go and get all of the things!
I was talking with a friend who has gone through this as well about the "not getting hopes up" but trying to stay positive, but also realistic issue. She agreed that it is a really difficult line to tow. The disappointment in the past was so sad and I have a feeling this will be even more so, so I am keeping it in check. Keeping it in check means wearing lots of yoga pants, sports bras, loose-ish shirts, and a smile :) I have cautiously looked at names and haven't really even looked at stuff that baby will need yet, just in case.
Now the progesterone shots.......
y'all. These are no joke. Everyone kept saying "these hurt, these leave bruising, these create knots in your upper booty." Well, I just started, so there's no knots yet, but yowzers! they have a bite!!!! The needle is an 18 gauge needle and is 1 1/2 inches long and has to go all the way into the muscle.
Bless my friend's hearts who administer these shots for me. They make the area so sore afterwards annnnnd deliver a powerful sleepy punch. I think, overall, this process is set up for people on "bankers hours" lifestyle or "muggles" as I call them in entertainment night shift life. lol
I say this because alllll of the meds make you so tired and most people just go to bed, they don't continue to work till midnight. It is rough. But, hopefully, worth it!!! For the Progesterone in Oil shots (PIO), I've placed this video here for reference and help. I lie down for my shots- it helps keep the muscle relaxed.
Here is how to administer the shot. Again, I lie down.
I've also added colorful band-aids because that has to help, right?! I wear a heating pad about 10-15 minutes prior to the shot and afterwards. It helps thin out the oil and decrease the chances of knots to occur. Today is day 3 and the first day getting a shot into an already sore area, so I'll let you know how that goes - eek!
I think that this last week has been better in some ways because I am not AS busy so I can sleep more, but I feel so gross and bloated and puffy and not attractive or even like myself and that is hard because no one wants those feelings. Its the same issue as before, where you have all the feelings of being pregnant but you are not, but you are hoping, and so you are hopeful its not a cruel joke. Like I said, its a weird line to tow.
Here's the plan- I'm gonna get ready for a fabulous day, pack my meds and heating pad, pack a yummy, healthy lunch, and have a positive great day!
More updates to come!!!