Realistic Is the New Positive

March 18, 2018

 

It's been more than a minute, y'all, and I apologize. Kind of.  I had to take a bit and have an attitude adjustment because this whole journey has been A LOT and it wasn't going so well.  Naturally, because I am a mere mortal, I was starting to become a little bitter and that will just not do.  Not in the long run anyway.  

 

After starting meds (estrogen) in Late December for the last round and it not working because of levels, and then again the same thing in February, I was beyond frustrated and could feel self becoming negative.  I decided to just focus on the many projects I had in front of me and then I would go in for testing once a week for about 3 weeks to see how my levels were.  I found myself in a place of just being over it.  I either want to be pregnant or it to be done and get myself back.  All the yo yo-ing on and off the estrogen and progesterone has led to about a 20 pound weight gain over this last year....I didn't feel like myself and definitely couldn't fit into my clothes and was getting really irritated about the false starts and continuing on the hormone roller coaster.  argh. 

 

Well, these last 2 weeks have proved positive and I began the last round on March 3.  I started with the estrogen again and over the course of the weeks, my levels have been great.  I began the progesterone monster shots this last Friday and I am due for one last blood work appointment tomorrow to get the final green light before the embryo transfer later in the week.  I am feeling very positive and content, the headaches are quite non-existent this round (Thank the baby Jesus and the Ceraphim above!) and the fatigue is even less than in previous rounds.  The Progesterone shots are still as knarly as before and man, they make my backside so tender!!!  I really expected there to be a softball size bruise back there yesterday from Friday and there was nothing!  So nuts!!!  The dosage is making its way through my system and the sleepiness is beginning to be a haze all day.  Which, if it works- bring it on! I did forget about the nausea that it causes so that hasn't been super fun.  I mean, none of it is fun.  If you have the chance to have a kid naturally- be thankful.  Be grateful.  Be so happy. Cuz this process is nothing short of sucky.  

 

But I do feel like this round is different and that it is going to work. :) :)  I am looking forward to a crazy new adventure and just living my life to the fullest.  A year in the making, here we go.  I can't believe it has been a year.  What a doozy!  I cannot express fully how much all of my friends and family's love and support has meant.  It is everything.  I feel loved and its the best feeling.  

 

Keep your fingers and toes crossed and send out all the crazy good juju that this transfer is successful!  I know I will. 

 

Much love! Stay tuned!

 

-M

 

 

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